we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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