Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Randomize
