Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
