If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
