Porn is love you can see.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
You can't just leave with hair like that
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
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