Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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