tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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