i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
how does that bad decision feel?
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
