Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
We have so much sex to catch up on
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
