Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
