Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
