I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize