Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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