whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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