She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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