Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
