awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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