Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
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I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize