your room smells of hookers.
And success
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
