My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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