What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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