you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
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