Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
