we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Randomize
