If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
