It's Friday. Sex?
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
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