i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
he was CRYING into my vagina
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
