is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Randomize
