i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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