R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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