So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Randomize
