You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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