It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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