butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
