I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
