She is in my trunk
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
