yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
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