Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
