I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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