he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
