Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
