I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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