I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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