he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Randomize
