i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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