i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
do herpes really smell.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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