O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
