Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I am never drinking with the goths again.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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