I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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