You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
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It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
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The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
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