The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
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So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
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Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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