My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Be still, my beating vagina.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
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