At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Randomize
