Texts From Last Night

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  (303): View more from Colorado

  if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head

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  (303): if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head http://tfl.nu/px1l
  Replies (10) Good night (646) Bad night (2703)
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  (269): View more from Michigan

  Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina

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  (269): Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina http://tfl.nu/v4ze
  Replies (80) Good night (5403) Bad night (1251)
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  (514): View more from Quebec

  home. puking in laundry basket.

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  (514): home. puking in laundry basket. http://tfl.nu/2psg
  Replies (15) Good night (723) Bad night (3206)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!

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  (832): apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?! http://tfl.nu/kaoo
  Replies (21) Good night (5595) Bad night (1283)
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  (562): View more from California

  In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...

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  (562): In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for... http://tfl.nu/hz7t
  Replies (23) Good night (6752) Bad night (1475)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.

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  (248): i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid. http://tfl.nu/t711
  Replies (33) Good night (8891) Bad night (1180)
• Favorite

  (754): View more from Florida

  I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.

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  (754): I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris. http://tfl.nu/pib9
  Replies (8) Good night (4887) Bad night (1032)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Well now I have my semen on her headphones

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  (203): Well now I have my semen on her headphones http://tfl.nu/hho2
  Replies (7) Good night (2392) Bad night (2031)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..

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  (416): You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water.. http://tfl.nu/3ccr
  Replies (16) Good night (1314) Bad night (4202)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.

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  (773): NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU. http://tfl.nu/h1az
  Replies (10) Good night (2338) Bad night (906)
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  (662): View more from Mississippi

  Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.

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  (662): Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though. http://tfl.nu/ai8a
  Replies (7) Good night (1453) Bad night (721)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."

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  (541): Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub." http://tfl.nu/xtt2
  Replies (15) Good night (1947) Bad night (819)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy

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  (330): I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy http://tfl.nu/vj29
  Replies (4) Good night (717) Bad night (280)
• Favorite

  (828): View more from North Carolina

  DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.

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  (828): DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it. http://tfl.nu/ob9p
  Replies (2) Good night (223) Bad night (681)
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.

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  (973): Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles? (414): Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you. http://tfl.nu/1j9f
  Replies (0) Good night (701) Bad night (152)

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