We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?