She's JV to your varsity
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment