I don't think brook has ever known best
I've blown a few things in my day
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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