can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
27 Drunk People That Pissed Off The Cops And Got What They Deserved
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet