I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Enjoy the penises
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"