Texts From Last Night

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  (518): View more from New York

  He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.

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  (518): He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock. http://tfl.nu/iuj0
  Replies (4) Good night (828) Bad night (2540)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12

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  (513): you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12 http://tfl.nu/a1h6
  Replies (44) Good night (6748) Bad night (2741)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.

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  (512): I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order. http://tfl.nu/zk7q
  Replies (16) Good night (5899) Bad night (1555)
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  (714): View more from California

  drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.

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  (714): drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well. http://tfl.nu/2mtg
  Replies (26) Good night (8297) Bad night (1563)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"

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  (519): all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat" http://tfl.nu/ukas
  Replies (14) Good night (4584) Bad night (1403)
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  (949): View more from California

  you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.

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  (949): you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application. http://tfl.nu/ha6k
  Replies (7) Good night (3773) Bad night (1058)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.

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  (781): She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug. http://tfl.nu/2oj9
  Replies (11) Good night (2886) Bad night (1584)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.

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  (208): Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap. http://tfl.nu/81wb
  Replies (5) Good night (1287) Bad night (889)
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night

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  (907): Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night http://tfl.nu/7a8c
  Replies (6) Good night (1365) Bad night (505)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?

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  (505): I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet? http://tfl.nu/aavq
  Replies (9) Good night (2035) Bad night (855)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve

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  (330): I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve http://tfl.nu/wq9l
  Replies (3) Good night (1004) Bad night (482)
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  (627): View more from California

  Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.

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  (627): Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time. http://tfl.nu/xynl
  Replies (7) Good night (2491) Bad night (572)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak

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  (516): He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak http://tfl.nu/keew
  Replies (3) Good night (968) Bad night (800)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.

  (+41): View more from Switzerland

  What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?

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  (+44): Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls. (+41): What a patriot you are. How'd it happen? http://tfl.nu/t9je
  Replies (1) Good night (571) Bad night (333)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.

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  (303): And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond. http://tfl.nu/d9ej
  Replies (2) Good night (597) Bad night (344)

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