Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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