After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
