remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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