You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
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