Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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