i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
