areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Randomize
