Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
