I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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