maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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